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jesse_the_k) wrote2025-08-31 11:29 am
Haunted Toilet — Best Craigslist Post This Decade
Free Toilet – Haunted. Slightly Used. You’ve Been Warned.
Posted 7-Aug-2025 from the north side of Madison
In a dark room, a standard toilet seems to glow white
( click for pic )
Do you have guts of steel, a strong back, and a questionable sense of judgment? Then boy, do I have the throne for you.
As Paul Harvey intoned, the rest of the story…
I’m giving away a toilet. Not just any toilet. A porcelain enigma, a mystical butt-bucket, a vessel forged in the deepest depths of a cursed Home Depot clearance aisle.
It flushes with the fury of Poseidon’s trident and occasionally emits sounds that suggest it’s trying to communicate in Morse code. It once screamed. Not like the pipes—like a person.
The backstory? This toilet was installed in my guest bathroom, affectionately known as “The Chamber of Screams.” Three guests used it. Two of them have since moved to Canada without explanation, and the third refuses to make eye contact with me at barbecues.
What you need to know:
Flushes. Sometimes violently.
Bowl glows faintly during thunderstorms.
Came with a bidet. Now it just hisses and sprays randomly like a venomous snake.
Every full moon, the tank fills with glitter. Unclear why.
One Yelp review from a plumber simply said “no.”
I just want it out of my house. You must pick it up yourself and sign a waiver that I am not responsible if it follows you home.
NO SCAMMERS. NO WITCHES. NO EXORCISTS (already tried). Serious inquiries only.
If you’re brave enough to sit upon the throne and live to tell the tale, contact me ASAP.
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